When you are angry, a great deal of energy is used up and wasted. So use energy wisely.
What is Anger Management?
With an individual in a negative manner, it can cause them to become angry. Anger is a normal response to such a situation. However, anger can be classed as a mild or intense irritation. Depending on the individual, the circumstance and their emotions, anger may cause a person to become enraged or even furious. People who become angry behave in different ways. Some lash out or become extremely defensive. Other people tend to keep their anger to themselves, bottling up their negative emotions and hurt. While some people become reckless and even abusive. Anger can be a terribly harmful emotion if it is not controlled.
Controlling anger is considered anger management. The first step to controlling anger issues it to admit there is a problem. Some people have major anger issues but cannot see it. Naturally something happens to set a person off making them angry. Individuals, who have trouble admitting to their anger and accepting responsibility for their actions, often play the blame game. They have difficulty seeing the situation as being their fault. There is always something or someone to blame. Their fits of anger are always blamed on something else. These people could really use a few lessons in anger management. However, they need to accept their actions and reactions for what they are, anger.
Many people who have anger issues find it demeaning when anger management is suggested. Unable to accept their problem prevents them from seeking the help they require. If a person continues down a path where they are constantly angry and acting out, it will eventually cause major problems. Without anger management this individual will likely experience loss, loss of their family, loss of their job and loss of their own identity.
It is essential to convince the person with anger problems, anger management is not meant to be a punishment but rather to help them have a better quality of life. Anger management is designed to help the individual work out their problems, help them figure out why they become so angry. It also teaches the person not to be enslaved by their emotions, their anger. Anger management is meant to teach the person techniques, which prevent them from getting angry as often or for very long.
There are all sorts of anger management strategies. There are programs created specifically to help those with anger issues. These programs are broken down to address different people, kids, teens, adults, couples and families. These anger management programs are in place to teach or help people to work on their anger. Teaching people strategies for working out their problems and controlling their anger are important in anger management.
Anger may be a healthy, normal emotion but when the anger takes over an individual's life making them destructive and violent, it is a big problem. Not only does the anger destroy the individual but it also affects everyone and everything around him or her. Anger management could change this individual and ensure a healthy, normal life.
Anger Management
There are many ways to learning to control your anger, but it is important that you also understand where your anger comes from.
As a child, you are taught to control your emotions to a certain extent. Excitement as a young adolescent does not necessarily mean screaming and yelling anymore, anger does not mean hitting, and sadness does not mean screaming and crying at the same time. You have been taught to control these emotions to a certain extent.
Unfortunately, for some, learning to control anger is a bit different and a bit more difficult. The same way you do not cry in public, throw yourself down on the sidewalk and beat your fist against it, are the same rules that should apply to your anger issues. In other words, if you have learned to control your other emotions you can learn to control your anger.
The hardest part about anger is its one of the strongest emotions a human being can have. There are many instances where ancient man used anger to fight, to survive, and to hunt. This is why it is one of the strongest emotions and it is so hard to control.
While it is understandable that anger is hard to contain, it is not understandable if it turns to violence, or hurtful words. More pain is dished out in relationships due to anger than any other emotion.
There are many articles on the Internet, many behavioral therapists, and community classes for anger management. If you are having trouble with your anger, if it is ruining your life, seek out help.
Anger is one of the strongest emotions known to man, and while it was useful in ancient times, in today's society it can be extremely detrimental. Seek out help if your anger is ruining your life, after all, you are not alone.
Anger Management Therapy
The essence of anger management therapy is to calm, isolate the real issue, and learn more productive ways to deal with the issue. Anger is often a secondary reply to hurt, disappointment, loss, embarrassment, distress, or emotional pain. Perhaps the person was never appropriately instructed in self-control in their youth, control was taken from them by incidents in their environment for an extended period, or an overwhelming life event contributed to their inability to appropriately respond to feelings. Dealing with anger does not mean that the person will not get angry; although in the long term, that might indeed be a desired outcome. The therapy actually helps a person isolate the problem or issue that is causing the acrimony and thereby giving a person a starting place to begin to deal with the particular issue. A person who engages in anger management therapy will learn how to appropriately respond to their temper rather than reacting to it. Instead of lashing out at people (usually reserved for those who are physically or emotional near), a person will learn coping skills that take these people out of the line of fire.
Anger is such an isolating condition. No one wants to be the brunt of someone's tirade. Self-control is essential to civility. Often time’s angry episodes include violent actions, verbal abuse, and intimidation causing fear. In anger management therapy, the triggers of these explosive events can be uncovered. There is definitely a history that precedes this behavior. Sometimes exposing the history is enough to get to the root of the problem. However, as human beings, people do not like to open themselves up to potential judgment by others. Therefore, the discovery process may be difficult. Diligence and persistence may eventually compel a person to open up. Effective anger management therapy will use subtle and transparent techniques to get the person talking. "Beating the person over the head, (figuratively, of course) has no merit and will produce minimal results; if any at all. The key is to replace aggression with assertion. This is not an easy sell to an aggressive person. The person needs to discover that a situation dealt with effectively can produce a positive outcome. As a matter of fact, it could be win-win.
The main skill a person will need to learn in anger management therapy is communication. In the therapy, the idea of taking a person's thoughts into captivity and not acting out on them is fundamental. "For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds ;) Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalted itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; and having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled. (Two Corinthians 10:3-6). A person can learn to pause after a thought comes into their head, take a breather (count to 10), and make a decision about the best thing to do with that thought. Often people, who have self-control issues, are attempting to control the behavior of someone else. This never works, of course. In the short term, or for a limited period, a person will allow a person to be in charge. However, this gets old after a while because power breeds more power. Instead of measuring the use of this control with a thimble, the angry person begins to use tablespoons, then cups, then gallons, and on and on. Losing control can lead a person down a slippery slope that may end in the person losing their freedom.
Because of the escalating nature of both power and passion, victims in these situations must either leave or the person must diligently seek to recover their self-control through anger management therapy. What happens, more times than not, is that victims leave. New victims replace the past victims and the cycle continues until either an unfortunate, but preventable, tragedy ensues or the angry person realizes that they are on the losing side of the equation. Not only are victims, but the perpetrators are also victims. Most people do not take into consideration that there are physical ramifications of aggressive outbursts. Anger can cause high blood pressure, hypertension, and/or depression. The weird thing about that is that it does not depend upon whether or not the displeasure is expressed. Frankly, although expressed anger may be dangerous to victims, it is also dangerous to the perpetrator. Moreover, unexpressed vexation is even more directly dangerous to the perpetrator; making anger management therapy all the more critical for this person.
Some pathological expressions of indignation come out in ways other than outbursts. When a person is constantly putting others down, making cynical comments, and critical of everything and everybody, there is usually a root in anger. People with these behaviors rarely recognize them as anger. They choose to deal with people passive-aggressively. Unfortunately, forging meaningful relationships is not usually possible. Therefore, they are generally unhappy people with few, if any, friends. Moreover, even when they do successfully develop a relationship, it often degrades in a short period. Anger management therapy, in a group setting, can be very beneficial for anyone with these types of issues; however, for the person who is passive-aggressive, it is of particularly tremendous value. The idea is to engage in cognitive restructuring. What this means is altering the way a person thinks. People who are angry often speak in colorful language (cursing or using very dramatic and exaggerated words). These words resonate their inner thoughts. Replacing negative, derogatory, and pessimistic thoughts with more positive, appreciative, and favorable ones will begin to rewire a person's thinking.
With anger. Is there anger management therapy available for those who feel the need to take their treatment a step further?
In the early 1970's, a psychiatrist named Aaron T. Beck, M.D, developed an anger management therapy focusing on problem solving. This therapy initially called Cognitive Therapy is now also known as Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy or CBT. Beck worked with patients for years using his psychiatric knowledge but was burdened to see his patient's treatment making only slow progress. Beck wanted to use a more intense approach to anger management therapy.
Cognitive Therapy is a form of anger management therapy, which helps a person to correct or change specific details in their thinking. These details, involving negative feelings, will likely lead to anger and cause behavioral problems. Beck realized that it is during the thinking process, negative thoughts are formed which lead to changes in emotions and behavior. If an individual could be treated at this stage, helping them to change their way of thinking, then they would see changes in their emotions and behavioral pattern. Using strategies and techniques such as relaxation training and assertiveness training, CBT has proven to be a relatively fast method of providing an individual with relief and allowing them to experience freedom through endurance. Cognitive Therapy has proven to be the most effective type of psychological treatment. Its popularity has spread worldwide and is used by many qualified professionals to treat individuals with behavioral difficulties such as anger. Literature about CBT is widely available and there is training in CBT provided for professionals.
Many people who suffer with anger-related issues avoid therapy. Some think they do not need it and others see it as a sign of weakness. The opposite can actually be said of an individual who seeks anger management therapy. They are strong and determined, willing to take whatever measures necessary to make positive changes in their life. When a person gets to the point where they can admit they need anger management therapy, it is essential to find a therapist who makes them feel comfortable. It is important to be able to communicate easily with a therapist since this is the person who will help reshape the individual's life. Building a trusting relationship with their therapist is vital when an individual is committed to therapy, no matter how long it takes.
Being able to share emotions, whether good or bad, is important in anger management therapy. It is through sharing and trusting that a person begins to discover things about themselves. Once these discoveries are revealed, an individual will begin to work on making changes in their thoughts and emotions, which will lead to positive changes in their lives. Anger management therapy may seem tough initially but with a trusting therapist, an individual will certainly make progress. This relationship between the individual and their therapist provides a safety zone, a place where they can feel free to disclose their innermost thoughts and inhibitions. Exploring underlying feelings of these thoughts will eventually provide the tools necessary for success.
Anger management therapy, either CBT or meeting regularly with a therapist, is definitely beneficial for people striving to work through anger-related issues. Choosing anger management therapy is a big step and requires the support and encouragement from family and friends.
Anger Management Tips and Techniques
Those in search of anger management techniques can often benefit greatly from professional intervention as well as through attaining an understanding of this very potent emotion. In many families, angry feelings are discouraged and children grow up distrustful and ashamed each time they experience a hostile emotion. But anger can be a very positive and healthy emotion when channeled correctly and expressed in a balanced manner. When attempting to understand such a powerful feeling, it can be helpful to know that anger will usually be made up of several elements. These components may be cognitive, psychological, and physiological in nature.
The cognitive factor has to do with the specific thought processes that the individual is experiencing. At times, a basic understanding that feelings of irritation are both normal and justified can be very helpful. The psychological component will deal with just how the person feels. In addition to angry feelings, the individual may be feeling depressed, frustrated, or let down. Examining all of these feelings and the reasons behind them can be very effective anger management techniques. The physiological aspects will deal with the body's physical reaction to angry feelings. Does the heart rate increase? Does the blood pressure rise? Is there a release of adrenaline? Explaining such factors can make it plain to the patient just why the need to effectively channel powerful emotions is so important to the individual's overall health. The triggers for angry emotions are usually some kind of frustrating event. Additional circumstances such as a longstanding and underlying frustration can also be contributing factors. If someone seems to go through life feeling perpetually angry, this could be a sign of a serious problem that may benefit from the effective use of various anger management techniques. Since these problems will usually stem from some kind of learned behavior, new learned behaviors could supply the needed remedy.
Handling angry emotions may generally be accomplished in one of two ways, expression or suppression. Healthy expression will not involve outbursts and explosions, but will usually be characterized by calm discussion, impassioned pleas or assertive statements. Those who are more tempted to suppress anger may have a very difficult time with such issues as healthy assertion over inappropriate aggression or impassioned, but controlled pleas. Effective anger management techniques can help those on both sides of the spectrum. Anyone who is prone to angry outbursts can benefit from learning to express feelings without turning aggressive or abusive toward others. Those in the habit of suppressing feelings of anger can find much relief in learning to communicate long buried emotions in healthy and productive ways. In some cases, the help of a professional counselor may be needed. A counselor will usually explore the patient's family background and upbringing to gain a better understanding of the underlying causes of the problems that the individual presents.
Astute parents can help their children by teaching them effective anger management techniques during childhood. Anger is common among children. Caring parents can teach both by example and by supplying the child with useful tools for dealing with these powerful emotions. Some children may use anger as a way to gain attention or reassurance from parents. This can present many problems for concerned moms and dads. The need to discipline inappropriate behavior must be coupled with a reassurance that the child is loved unconditionally. While there should be consequences for angry outbursts, instruction on how to better express these feelings is necessary. By doing so, a parent can often head off many problems and better equip the child for life in the adult world. Of course, there can be a number of other reasons behind inappropriate bursts of rage. The child may be attempting to gain power or may be seeking some sort of revenge or aggression toward another person. Professional counseling along with the application of anger management techniques can be very helpful in dealing with and discovering the causes behind a child's extreme behavior issues.
For teenagers, there are a number of anger management techniques that may be effective. The teen years can be both difficult and confusing. A certain amount of angry feelings during the adolescent years is both normal and understandable. Learning to effectively handle these feelings is part of the normal maturation process. However, for some youths, anger can get out of control and become rage. When this is the case, professional counseling may be in order. A parent can help their child handle this rage by keeping the lines of communication open. If the teen feels that they have lost parental respect and approval after an outburst, this may only contribute to the problem. Looking into the sources of stress that the adolescent may be feeling can be helpful as well. If an underlying problem is identified, it may be easier to find a reliable solution.
For anyone who struggles to correctly channel angry emotions, there are a number of useful anger management techniques available. Something as simple as walking away from a situation shortly can be very effective. This can give all parties the opportunity to calm down and gain control. In some cases, this approach will not be applicable since there may not be time to walk away. When this is the case, it can still be important to pause, even if only for a moment, before making a response. Relaxing, taking the time to breath and think before responding can often be enough to prevent an over the top reaction. Retraining old habits can make a huge difference for anyone who struggles with these issues.
Can be difficult if the person is unwilling to admit to their problem and seek help. It is imperative that people be supportive and encouraging to those with anger issues. At times it may seem impossible since these people can be hurtful and even violent. Helping them to realize they need help would be the initial step to controlling their anger.
Once an individual is willing to work on their anger problem and turn to anger management, there are anger management techniques which will be taught to help them. There are many techniques which are beneficial regarding anger management. It might be necessary for the individual to try them all in order to find anger management techniques that work best for them.
One technique recommended for anger management is relaxation. Angry feelings and emotions can be calmed by relaxing exercises such as deep breathing, relaxing imagery and slow no strenuous exercise similar to yoga. When a person becomes irritated and headed for a fit of anger, it is suggested they breathe deeply. This technique recommends that the person breathe from their diaphragm in order to relax. Using relaxing imagery may work for some people. Allowing their mind and thoughts to go to a happy place, a relaxing experience may help to calm them down. This imagery may be of an experience or the individual could use their imagination. The yoga-like exercises used as an anger management technique are meant to relax the muscles, which in turn will help the individual feel much calmer.
Problem solving is used as an anger management technique. It is important for an individual to discover the reason for their anger. Anger is a natural response to certain situations and at times it is an acceptable reaction but there are other incidents when the anger is not appropriate. There is a reason for the anger and to every problem, there is said to be a solution. When a situation arises, the individual is taught not to focus on the solution but rather the problem. Finding ways to handle the problem and confront it is the main objective in this anger management technique. It may take awhile to conform to this plan. It is important to stick to it, eventually the answers will come.
People with anger issues are taught through anger management techniques to practice better communication skills. Often a fit of anger arises because an individual misunderstood a conversation. Before giving it any thought, they become enraged and filled with anger. Anger management teaches the individual to slow down their thinking, think before they speak or react. The easily angered person needs to listen to the underlying message and try not to jump to conclusions. When feeling on the defensive side, the individual should learn not to fight back. Listening rationally to what the other person has to say might make a huge difference in a reaction.
These are just a few anger management techniques. There are many others, which may be helpful to an individual requiring help. There are many books, movies and website on the Internet, which can provide information regarding anger management techniques.
Anger Management Tips to use in Stressful Situations
Stressful situations. If a difficult incident pops up, often their only way to cope with it is to put up their defensive side. Becoming angry is probably easier than dealing with the circumstances. This is unfortunate since anger does not solve anything. Once it subsides, the problem is still there.
There are anger management tips which people can used when found in stressful situations. If there is a friend or family member who is easy to talk to and understanding, it might be good to talk to them. When an individual becomes angry, they are incapable of seeing the other side of the problem. Talking to someone may help them by sharing their side of the story. The friend or family member may be able to help them sort through their issues and make them look at the situation from the other side. This anger management tip may work well for some people.
Another great anger management tip is to write down thoughts and feelings during a fit of anger. The angry individual may feel as if nobody understands or cares about their problems. Sharing may only cause extra conflict. Lashing out will get them nowhere. Writing or journaling may help people with anger issues. Without anyone to talk back or object to what they have to say, it may be help to get their feelings off their chest. Using writing as an anger management tip may also help in the future when trying to find the triggers, which cause the angry outbursts. Being able to look back over the information written may provide the person with reasons for their anger through reading about similar incidents.
Taking a vacation, spending some alone time is another good anger management tip. Removing oneself from the environment, which seems to frustrate and irritate them, may be a wise idea. Being able to get away and reflect on their actions may help an individual to look at things differently. Given space and time may be positive for a person with anger issues.
Some people suggest prayer and meditation as anger management tips. Both of these suggestions involve very personal practices for an individual. Given a chance to pray and be alone with one's thoughts is a good way to release tension and let the pressures of life wash away. Letting go of feelings of anger and negative thoughts would definitely make a positive change in a person's life. Through prayer and meditation, a person is able to dig deep into their minds and souls for answers to their problems and comfort for their broken spirits.
There are many anger management tips, which people can practice when the going gets tough. Tips such as breathe deeply, exercise, get more rest, get out in nature, find humor in the situation and play or listen to music. These are all recommended as anger management tips for the person who finds themselves in stressful and confrontational situations.
Anger Management Activities are recommended
Irritating and stressful situations may be a reason for many fits of anger and rage. Most people, with the exception of young children perhaps, recognize their problem with uncontrollable anger. Although there are many anger management activities, which would enable them to better cope with confrontational situations, some people are uneducated regarding these techniques and activities.
There are many anger management activities individuals can practice or participate in when attempting to cope with daily feelings of anger. One activity, which is recommended for anger management, is exercise. Exercise has been proven to have a positive impact on an individual's mood. Exercise helps an individual to decrease any negative feelings they might be experiencing. An effect anger management activity might be as simple as going for a walk or jog in the park. Visiting the gym to work out of taking part in their favorite sport may work well for an individual as an anger management activity. Taking a hike or spending a few hours in the beauty of nature would definitely allow a person to clear their head and release tension. Outdoor anger management activities would surely create an environment of serenity.
Anger management activities such as attending a support group, camp or retreat would certainly help people who are experiencing difficulties controlling their anger. One positive aspect of attending anger management activities such as there is the individual would see firsthand that their problem is not unique, that it is shared by plenty of other people. Being able to share with people in similar situations might be the key to anger management for some individuals. Sharing would likely provide hope through success stories. In anger management activities such as these, people are forced to deal with their anger issues through various activities group sessions and one on one consults.
Anger management activities are recommended when dealing with children who are coping with anger issues. A child is unlikely to respond well to group sessions and perhaps even become bored with one on one consults. Finding activities which are interesting and even challenging may be a better alternative. Kids enjoy fun and games. Designing anger management activities which are enjoyable yet beneficial would be so much more effective than forcing a child to sit down with an anger management counselor. Worksheets, coloring pages, individual games as well as interactive games would be accepted much better by children than a trip to the psychiatrist. When children are involved, it is essential to approach the problem carefully. Being overbearing will not go over well with kids. When considering anger management activities for kids, it is essential to be mindful that they are only children and the approach is important.
When considering anger management activities, an individual ought to choose one which they find interesting and enjoyable. Sticking a person in an unfamiliar setting may create feelings of anger which is not the intention of anger management activities. Finding an activity that works should be the key focus.
Anger Management for Teen Children
Where children experience some of their most challenging encounters. This particular period in a child's life can take them down many paths, some of them not so pleasant. Teen children who are forced to deal with upsetting circumstances often lash out. Developing a reckless attitude is common in many teen children. When teens turn to emotions of anger and begin to act out, it might be time to seek anger management for teen children.
As a teenager, trying to cope with the diverse situations which continuously present themselves can be emotionally strenuous. This strain unleashes many thoughts and feeling including anger. Anger is a natural response when somebody pushes a person's buttons. However, what the person chooses to do with those feelings makes the difference. Anger management for teen children teaches self-awareness and self-control. Anger is an extremely powerful emotion. If dealt with incorrectly, anger can cause actions or reactions, which are very hurtful and painful. Learning to deal with these emotions at a young age will definitely affect adult life. It is essential to seek anger management for teen children when there is evidence of anger issues.
Handling anger is all about empowerment, being capable of accessing the situation and making positive decisions rather than acting on impulse. It is easy to lash out at the first sign of opposition but it takes self-control to act in a sensible and logical manner. This may seem to be a lot to expect of teen children but if approached in the right way, it can be accomplished. This may require one-on-one counseling, support group meetings or attending a retreat for teens with anger problems. The method for success is important however, the result is what really matters.
Teaching a teenager, self-awareness as part of anger management for teen children, requires teaching the individual that they have the ability to evaluate situations, which make them angry. Encouraging the teen to take notice of their feelings during irritating incidents is essential in anger management for teen children. Helping them to understand the importance of thinking during an actual confrontational encounter will make a difference.
A teenager who is quick to anger also needs lessons in self-control. It is one thing to evaluate the upsetting situation but the self-control factors into the teenager's reaction. Teaching teen children to think before they act is imperative in anger management for teen children. Encouraging them to stop and think, take a few seconds between their initial feelings of anger and their reaction will certainly produce positive results.
Self-awareness and self-control go hand in hand when involved in a provoking situation. Anger management for teen children teaches the individual to evaluate their emotions, the situation and the actual reasons for the opposition. Taking a few seconds to mull these thoughts over in their mind will have an impact on their action or reaction. Dealing with teenagers who have anger problems can be a challenge but there are many resources available regarding anger management for teen children. The Internet is a great source or information regarding this subject. The process of teaching anger management strategies to teens may be a battle but the rewards are worth the effort. If the challenge means a teenager is prevented from harm and pain, it is definitely worth it.
Anger Management in Children
Issues may bring about images of a couple fighting, a parent abusing a child, a teenager lashing out at a teacher or a parent. Rarely will images of angry children come to mind. Unfortunately, children, at very young ages, have to deal with feelings of anger and rage. This is a truth, which is often difficult to understand or manage.
Children, young children especially, are not normally aware of how they feel. When a child becomes upset or mad they simply show these emotions through their behavior. A good example of this might be the little boy in the supermarket who throws a tantrum because he is upset. Many parents have had to deal with similar situations. It is unfortunate that often times these occurrences are overlooked or dismissed because they are "just children". Anger management in children is as important, or perhaps even more important than anger management in adults.
A child requires instruction and guidance from their coming into the world to their entry into adulthood. The things they learn throughout their young lives are likely to form the person they become as an adult. For this reason anger management in children with difficulties controlling their temper is extremely important. Finding ways to teach anger management in children might present challenges.
There are programs designed specifically for children with anger management issues. Finding one that works for a particular child might require testing many methods. Not all children will respond to the same treatments for anger management in children. Because a child cannot always relate their feelings surrounding angry outburst, finding the right approach may take some time. Until the issue is resolved or at least controlled, it is imperative to continue the search.
Young children may respond well to worksheets, games and fun activities. All of these can be used effectively to teach anger management in children. Developing programs which incorporate each of these might be the best route to take. A child completing a worksheet, coloring sheet or participating in games and activities with underlying messages regarding anger management, may not even realize they are working on their problem. Making the activity fun doesn't mean that the anger issue has to be left out. Choosing fun activities which teach healthy interaction and decision making might be good for anger management in children. Teaching them to take turns and helping them to learn that they cannot always be the best or the winner would definitely make a difference when confrontational situations arise. Little activities which instill values and positive thinking would be beneficial for anger management in children.
If a child is old enough to talk about their anger problem, encouraging them to share their feelings is important. Suggesting they talk to someone who they feel comfortable with and trust is a good idea regarding anger management in children. Asking them to write or draw about their emotions may be able to help disclose their underlying issues, whether fear, hurt or sadness. Teaching them to ask for help when they feel threatened or angry would certainly help the child with a problem. The important detail to realize when considering anger management in children are they are just "children". Their minds are not equipped to handle big people situations and so they will require a more careful approach.
How to Recognize the Physical and Emotional Signs of Anger
Anger is an emotional response to frustration, insult, or attack. Though not known to be universal cause, a very common stimulus to anger is the feeling of being either physically or psychologically restrained from doing what the person intensely desires to do. Other causes of anger include personal insult, everyday frustrations, such as being late to work because of a traffic accident, interruptions, being taken advantage of, or being compelled to do something against one's own wishes, such as having to do a project for your boss that has been done several times and never succeeded in the past.
Anger, aggression and hostility are difficult to deal with once a person has lost control. It is more easily to check anger before it flares up. Most people are unaware of the signals, which their bodies give them about the buildup of anger and frustration until it is too late.
One way to keep your anger in check is to be aware of what are the signs of anger.
What anger physically looks like?
1. The muscles of the brow move inward and downward.
2. The face has a frown and foreboding appearance.
3. The eyes are fixed in a hard stare toward the object of anger.
4. The nostrils dilate and the wings of the nose flare out.
5. Lips are drawn back and are open, revealing clenched teeth.
6. Often the face is flushed.
7. Voice level goes up several decibels.
What anger feels like?
1. The blood boils. The face becomes hot. Muscles are tense.
2. There is a feeling of power and the impulse to strike out, to attack the source of anger.
3. The stronger the anger, the stronger and more energetic the person feels. The greater the need for physical action.
4. In rage, the mobilization of energy is so great the an individual feels that he/she will explode if he/she does not bite, kick or hit something or "act out the anger" in some way.
5. Anger causes an individual to feel great tension. The sense of physical strength and self-assurance tends to make an individual feel brave and courageous.
6. The experience of anger is accompanied by a strong feeling of impulsiveness. The dimension of self-control is lower in anger than any other emotion.
7. The combination of muscle tension (strength), self-assurance and impulsiveness help explain the individual's readiness to strike out or engage in some kind of motor activity, like fighting.
What to do (When Feeling Angry):
1. DO NOT touch another individual or pick up any objects during periods of anger.
2. Remove yourself from the situation immediately.
3. Take several slow, deep breathes. Hold your breath for about five seconds and release your breath slowly and saying to yourself "relax."
4. Do something physical, which requires the expenditure of a lot of energy, such as jogging, playing squash, swimming, etc. Perform the activity until physically tired.
5. Then go back and examine the situation and identify the stressor(s) that set off the event. What was it about this particular situation that triggered your anger or was it a compilation of several incidents that built up until this was the "last straw".
6. Develop a plan of action on how you would handle the situation differently in future.
7. If a person is chronically angry or has problems with controlling his/her anger, he should seek out professional help immediately and sign up for an Anger Management Course.
I am a retired master's prepared nurse with a vast scope of experiences in the areas of mental and geriatric nursing. I have held clinical specialist positions in as well as administrative positions in which I developed programs for acute and long term clients on social skills, reality orientation, etc
Go to my website for further information on Managing Every Day Stress. These modules present a thumbnail sketch of a broad spectrum of topics, such as stress, anger, anxiety, communication styles and so forth and then present suggestions on how to cope more effectively with them.
Learning Healthy Anger Management Strategies
Each of them is intended to help people who are hot-tempered and frequently have fits of rage. Anger, although a healthy and normal response to upsetting situations, it can be intense to the point of violence. When a person experiences regular episodes of angry or reckless behavior, there is a problem, one that needs to be dealt with. Anger management strategies are designed to help an individual return to a healthy, normal existence.
Taking a time-out is considered a healthy management strategy. Removing oneself from a situation or person that makes a person angry is practicing time-out. This anger management strategy might simply require a ride in the car or a walk on the beach. Playing sports or working out will help an individual to use up some of the extra energy without involving others. Some other suggestions for time-out are reading, listening to music or sitting alone in silence. Each of these activities are healthy anger management strategies.
A second example of a healthy anger management strategy is, owning up to the anger. Although the anger is usually brought on by an irritating situation or a confrontation with another individual, the anger actually belongs to the troubled person. Only the person who's experiencing the anger issues can control their outbursts. Only the person with the anger issues can learn anger management strategies and how to deal with their feelings in a healthy way. When an individual becomes mad or upset they need to try to disclose the reasons for their anger whether it is hurt, fear, frustration sadness, confusion , jealousy or whatever seems to bring unleash the rage.
Another healthy anger management strategy is to look back on those situations that upset an individual and try to find ways to make changes. Learning the cause of the anger may help the individual to avoid those situations. Not only might the person learn to avoid these incidents but they might also choose to take what they have learned and attempt to deal with the situation without bursting into frenzy.
A fourth suggestion regarding healthy management strategies is to confront the situation or person. Talk to the person or people involved, calmly of course, to try to determine the root of the problem. The angry individual might actually discover that the whole thing was a mix-up, a misunderstanding. The individual might also try asking the person or people in the situation to think about their behavior and perhaps even change it. It may be surprising what people would be willing to do to help the person who is attempting to deal with their problems with anger. Hopefully everything will work out for the best. If not there has to be room for acceptance. Sometimes a person must simply accept the situations and people they cannot change and deal with it or walk away.
Learning healthy anger management strategies should be considered by those with anger problems. There are many books published regarding anger and anger management. There is also a wealth of information available on the Internet for those who are attempting to deal with their anger by learning healthy anger management strategies.
How to Express Your Anger and Still Be Kind
Many people carry around old emotional wounds that they express in a variety of ways such as depression or rage. Anger Work teaches us that In order to heal the wounds; the person needs to specifically focus on the anger within. By focusing on the trauma over and over, the pain will gradually go away, never to affect you again. Anger Work is the path to healing!
Three types of individuals would benefit from Anger Work:
1. Those who know they are angry.
2. Those who are struggling with past events and perhaps do not know they have repressed anger.
3. Those who wish to lead happier, more fulfilling lives.
This article will deal strictly with the people in the first category-Anger Work for people who know they are angry.
A comparison can be made between our physical health and our emotional health. When the body experiences a severe injury or laceration, infection will most certainly occur if the wound is left unattended. Eventually, it will fester and may even turn into gangrene, a life threatening condition. If, however, the wound is cleansed thoroughly and allowed to heal completely, all that is left is a scar to remind the victim of the event.
Likewise, when an emotional wound is sustained by the psyche, it will start to affect other areas of the person's life, just as infection spreads to other parts of the body. Since abusive people and emotional pain are part of everyday life, the person who does not learn to deal appropriately with them will start to experience a cumulative negative effect. Eventually the individual's overall emotional and psychological health will be at risk. However, if the emotional wound is cleansed well, and allowed to heal completely, all that is left is a memory. Like an old scar, this memory does not hurt. It becomes no more than a record of your personal memory, an experience that you have learned from. Anger Work is the cleansing process that can bring this healing about.
Since abusive people and emotional pain are part of everyday life, the person who does not learn to deal appropriately with them will start to experience a cumulative negative effect. Eventually the individual's overall emotional and psychological health will be at risk.
Okay, so you know you are angry. You have been mistreated or abused and you have had enough of that. You may be in touch with the feelings of your anger, but have not yet started expressing them, or you may be a seasoned veteran at "giving people a piece of your mind." You may even have a "temper problem" so serious that you experience episodes in which your anger seems to have control of you, rather than your being in control of your anger. People have been getting angry since the beginning of time, and that is nothing new. You may be thinking, "I don't need a book to tell me to get mad when somebody does something that ticks me off!" However, Anger Work is not simply "getting mad" at someone, nor does it deal exclusively with the present. People who describe themselves as having a "temper problem" are generally people who have had some very negative experiences in the past. Because they have not yet successfully worked through all their feelings about these events, they walk around with "leftovers," that is, leftover anger from situations that happened a long time ago. They bring these "leftovers" with them into every new situation. The result is that they are already somewhat angry before anything happens. So when someone does something that might normally be a minor source of irritation, the person with "leftovers" finds him or herself inordinately angry. They feel the anger of the current situation plus the "leftovers" they had in store. In situations that would normally make them feel genuinely angry, and for good reason, they go beyond that and become explosive. They may haul off and slug a person or berate him or her verbally instead of assertively asking someone to stop the offending behavior. You may be experiencing problems because of angry outbursts. Or maybe you haven't done anything regrettable yet, but you feel like a volcano about to explode and burn everything in your path. If either of these descriptions fits you, you can learn how to channel your anger and aggressive feelings in positive ways. Over time, through Anger Work, you can work out all your residual feelings of anger so that you have no "leftovers." You will break out of the negative cycle of Anger’ Outburst’ Guilt’ Regret’ Shame’ Anger, without becoming a doormat.
Dr. Robert Puff is a psychologist and business consultant who has given almost a thousand media interviews, including magazines, online magazines, and TV and radio talk shows. All of Dr. Puff's writings are free, as e-books and unabridged audio recordings at his web site. If you would like to read or listen to his free numerous selections of how to handle fear, manage anger, reduce stress, go to
Healthy Ways to Unleash Your Anger
If we heard the word "anger”, the first thing that comes to our mind is negative feeling, a negative emotion that often resulted to vicious actions. We are like a dragon that ready to throw fire. However, there are many ways that anger can turn into positive outcome and productive results.
Here are some convincing reasons to give up anger:
1. Anger is a destructive emotion. Anger, in fact, is a healthy emotion but it can be destructive if you do not know how to handle it.
2. You are the first person damaged by your anger. Holding out to your anger is like grasping a very hot coal and ready to throw to the subject of your anger, you are the one who is burned.
3. Your actions done because of anger are likely to be irrational and hence harmful and not effective."Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret."
4. If you are carrying anger then you are setting up barriers for yourself. When you get angry, you interfere with your creative and objective side to help you achieve your goals and purpose and as a result, you do not move forward.
5. Anger can ruin you physically and emotionally. Do not stay too long with your frustrations and disappointments because it can lead us to many physical problems such as hypersensitivity, irritability, and insomnia. Your emotional and social life can be affected too.
Feeling angry is not wrong after all, but when it leads a person to become destructive, either physically, verbally, or psychologically, then it becomes wrong. Anger can be useful in many ways. Here are some practical tips for turning your angry feelings into useful energy.
You must acknowledge your anger
Denying its existence is one of the unhealthiest responses to feelings of anger. If you do not allow your mind to acknowledge that angry feelings, your body will have to bear the burden. If you feel the blood rising to your head, your ears are getting that hot sensation, your stomach being tied in knots, your fists clenching, and your heart pounding, then admit to yourself that anger is hitting you.
Uncover the cause of your anger
What triggered your feeling is sometimes obvious: a trusted person lied at you, the toilet bowl was not flushed, or the result you expected never happened. Sometimes you need to dig deeply. Just be specific in naming the event that sent your blood boil.
Confide in someone you trust
Find somebody you can confide your feeling, someone that is objective about the situation and who are not afraid to be honest with you. However, beware of somebody who just riles you up further and can fan your flames.
Take action to solve the issue that is frustrating you
First, determine if you have any control over the situation. If you do not have any control, just letting go of the situation, and working on how you feel about it.
Do something to make your anger productive
If you have a yard, go outside and do yard work, gardening or do a hobby that you are passionate about like painting, drawing, or simply redesigning your room. You will feel great about the progress that you make.
Get physical
Get connected to your body, and channel your rage into an activity that can release tension. Exercise, dancing, and running are great examples.
Life is so short; do not waste it being angry most of the time. Stay happy and make your anger productive. As the saying goes, "For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness."
Learning to Control Your Anger
There are many ways to learning to control your anger, but it is important that you also understand where your anger comes from.
As a child, you are taught to control your emotions to a certain extent. Excitement as a young adolescent does not necessarily mean screaming and yelling anymore, anger does not mean hitting, and sadness does not mean screaming and crying at the same time. You have been taught to control these emotions to a certain extent.
Unfortunately, for some, learning to control anger is a bit different and a bit more difficult. The same way you do not cry in public, throw yourself down on the sidewalk and beat your fist against it, are the same rules that should apply to your anger issues. In other words, if you have learned to control your other emotions you can learn to control your anger.
The hardest part about anger is its one of the strongest emotions a human being can have. There are many instances where ancient man used anger to fight, to survive, and to hunt. This is why it is one of the strongest emotions and it is so hard to control.
While it is understandable that anger is hard to contain, it is not understandable if it turns to violence, or hurtful words. More pain is dished out in relationships due to anger than any other emotion.
There are many articles on the Internet, many behavioral therapists, and community classes for anger management. If you are having trouble with your anger, if it is ruining your life, seek out help.
Anger is one of the strongest emotions known to man, and while it was useful in ancient times, in today's society it can be extremely detrimental. Seek out help if your anger is ruining your life, after all, you are not alone.
How Can I Control My Anger?
If you blow up at the tiniest thing, you are probably wondering, how can I control my anger? You may think that you have picked up this trait from a family member and it is in your genes. Well, it may be a familiar family trait, but your reactions are learned and you can change them if you really want to.
Everyone has his or her hot spots and people who know how to "push your buttons." While these issues have specific origins, they can be dealt with as soon as you figure out why you are getting so angry. Sometimes we get angry because whatever is being said is hitting too close to home and we do not want to admit it.
Think about what it is that is triggering this emotion. Start writing a journal, which can be very therapeutic in uncovering reasons behind our emotions. Are you jealous of someone? Do you think they are getting away with something they should not? Write your heart out and once it is on paper, somehow you will feel relieved because it is not churning around inside of you.
If we get angry with a person directly or a situation that is at hand, one thing you might want to try is to physically remove yourself from the situation. Go outside, take a deep breath, and walk around the block. Just get away so that you can regroup and calm down.
Next time you see someone who explodes with anger, pay attention to what that person looks like, sounds like, and the reaction of the people around him or her. Sometimes when we see, what our behavior may look like it is a real eye opener.
You may feel like you are the one in control when you get angry but you are actually far from it. You have a better chance of resolving the problem or getting what you want with a calm attitude.
How to Get Rid of Anger?
There is no doubt that there are many angry people in the world today, economic turmoil has changed some people's life irrevocably, and in many cases, they have a right to be angry. In order to be healthy you need to learn how to get rid of anger and get on with your life.
The first thing you need to do is accept that you have a right to be angry considering the situation you're in. Whether it is economic turmoil, financial disaster, a breakup with a relationship, or another type of life-changing event.
Once you accept the fact that you have a right to be angry you can begin to dissipate the negative energy. First, make sure that you are angry at the right events in your life. If you cannot describe what you are angry about, or why you are angry, a little bit of self-diagnoses is going to be needed. In other words, before you can get rid of anger you have to know what you are mad at and why.
Once you understand what you are mad at or why, you can begin to focus this angry energy in a good way. Accepting that you are angry, that you have a right to be angry, and then doing something about the problem or the situation would be your next step.
If you can focus this angry energy in a good way, not only will your anger dissipate, but you will also be accomplishing something with the energy. Wasting your energy by ranting around or complaining a lot is not going to help anyone, least of all you. It is much better to focus this energy and do something about your situation.
Remember, the first step to getting rid of anger is to understand why you are angry in the first place.
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"It’s hard to fight with ANGER, but the prudent man keeps it under control."
"ANGER at lies lasts forever. ANGER at truth can't last."
"ANGER will never disappear so long as thoughts of resentment are cherished in the mind.
ANGER will disappear just as soon as thoughts of resentment are forgotten."
"How much more grievous are the consequences of ANGER than the causes of it
"The best remedy for ANGER is delay."
"Resentment is ANGER directed at others--at what they did or did not do."
»Brigham Young
»Peter McWilliams
"Guilt is ANGER directed at ourselves--at what we did or did not do." »Peter McWilliams
"When ANGER rises, think of the consequences." »Confucius
"The greatest remedy for ANGER is delay." »Lucius Annaeus Seneca
"ANGER dwells only in the bosom of fools." »Albert Einstein
"ANGER is never without a reason but seldom a good one." »Benjamin Franklin
"Whatever is begun in ANGER ends in shame." »Benjamin Franklin
"ANGER is only one letter short of dANGER." »Roosevelt, Eleanor
"ANGER is a signal, and one worth listening to." »Harriet Lerner
"In ANGER we should refrain both from speech and action." »Pythagoras
"A man is measured by the size of things that ANGER him." »Geof Greenleaf
"Look not back in ANGER, nor forward in fear But around you in awareness." »Ross Hersey
"ANGER is a wind which blows out the lamp of the mind." »Robert Green Ingersoll
"ANGER so clouds the mind, that it cannot perceive the truth." »Cato the Elder
"There was never an angry man that thought his ANGER unjust." »Saint Francis de Sales
"ANGER and intolerance are the enemies of correct understanding." »Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi
"Let us not look back in ANGER, nor forward in fear, but around in awareness." »James Grover Thurber
"He who can suppress a moment's ANGER may prevent a day of sorrow." »Tryon Edwards
"ANGER makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were." »Cherie Carter-Scott
"I have a right to my ANGER, and I don't want anybody telling me I shouldn't be, that it's not nice to be, and that something's wrong with me because I get angry." »Maxine Waters
"Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for they are subtle and quick to ANGER." »J. R. R. Tolkien
"ANGER makes dull men witty, but it keeps them poor." »Francis Bacon
"ANGER and jealousy can no more bear to lose sight of their objects than love."
"If you do not wish to be prone to ANGER, do not feed the habit give it nothing which may tend to its increase."
"If you are patient in one moment of ANGER, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow."
What is Anger Management?
With an individual in a negative manner, it can cause them to become angry. Anger is a normal response to such a situation. However, anger can be classed as a mild or intense irritation. Depending on the individual, the circumstance and their emotions, anger may cause a person to become enraged or even furious. People who become angry behave in different ways. Some lash out or become extremely defensive. Other people tend to keep their anger to themselves, bottling up their negative emotions and hurt. While some people become reckless and even abusive. Anger can be a terribly harmful emotion if it is not controlled.
Controlling anger is considered anger management. The first step to controlling anger issues it to admit there is a problem. Some people have major anger issues but cannot see it. Naturally something happens to set a person off making them angry. Individuals, who have trouble admitting to their anger and accepting responsibility for their actions, often play the blame game. They have difficulty seeing the situation as being their fault. There is always something or someone to blame. Their fits of anger are always blamed on something else. These people could really use a few lessons in anger management. However, they need to accept their actions and reactions for what they are, anger.
Many people who have anger issues find it demeaning when anger management is suggested. Unable to accept their problem prevents them from seeking the help they require. If a person continues down a path where they are constantly angry and acting out, it will eventually cause major problems. Without anger management this individual will likely experience loss, loss of their family, loss of their job and loss of their own identity.
It is essential to convince the person with anger problems, anger management is not meant to be a punishment but rather to help them have a better quality of life. Anger management is designed to help the individual work out their problems, help them figure out why they become so angry. It also teaches the person not to be enslaved by their emotions, their anger. Anger management is meant to teach the person techniques, which prevent them from getting angry as often or for very long.
There are all sorts of anger management strategies. There are programs created specifically to help those with anger issues. These programs are broken down to address different people, kids, teens, adults, couples and families. These anger management programs are in place to teach or help people to work on their anger. Teaching people strategies for working out their problems and controlling their anger are important in anger management.
Anger may be a healthy, normal emotion but when the anger takes over an individual's life making them destructive and violent, it is a big problem. Not only does the anger destroy the individual but it also affects everyone and everything around him or her. Anger management could change this individual and ensure a healthy, normal life.
Anger Management
There are many ways to learning to control your anger, but it is important that you also understand where your anger comes from.
As a child, you are taught to control your emotions to a certain extent. Excitement as a young adolescent does not necessarily mean screaming and yelling anymore, anger does not mean hitting, and sadness does not mean screaming and crying at the same time. You have been taught to control these emotions to a certain extent.
Unfortunately, for some, learning to control anger is a bit different and a bit more difficult. The same way you do not cry in public, throw yourself down on the sidewalk and beat your fist against it, are the same rules that should apply to your anger issues. In other words, if you have learned to control your other emotions you can learn to control your anger.
The hardest part about anger is its one of the strongest emotions a human being can have. There are many instances where ancient man used anger to fight, to survive, and to hunt. This is why it is one of the strongest emotions and it is so hard to control.
While it is understandable that anger is hard to contain, it is not understandable if it turns to violence, or hurtful words. More pain is dished out in relationships due to anger than any other emotion.
There are many articles on the Internet, many behavioral therapists, and community classes for anger management. If you are having trouble with your anger, if it is ruining your life, seek out help.
Anger is one of the strongest emotions known to man, and while it was useful in ancient times, in today's society it can be extremely detrimental. Seek out help if your anger is ruining your life, after all, you are not alone.
Anger Management Therapy
The essence of anger management therapy is to calm, isolate the real issue, and learn more productive ways to deal with the issue. Anger is often a secondary reply to hurt, disappointment, loss, embarrassment, distress, or emotional pain. Perhaps the person was never appropriately instructed in self-control in their youth, control was taken from them by incidents in their environment for an extended period, or an overwhelming life event contributed to their inability to appropriately respond to feelings. Dealing with anger does not mean that the person will not get angry; although in the long term, that might indeed be a desired outcome. The therapy actually helps a person isolate the problem or issue that is causing the acrimony and thereby giving a person a starting place to begin to deal with the particular issue. A person who engages in anger management therapy will learn how to appropriately respond to their temper rather than reacting to it. Instead of lashing out at people (usually reserved for those who are physically or emotional near), a person will learn coping skills that take these people out of the line of fire.
Anger is such an isolating condition. No one wants to be the brunt of someone's tirade. Self-control is essential to civility. Often time’s angry episodes include violent actions, verbal abuse, and intimidation causing fear. In anger management therapy, the triggers of these explosive events can be uncovered. There is definitely a history that precedes this behavior. Sometimes exposing the history is enough to get to the root of the problem. However, as human beings, people do not like to open themselves up to potential judgment by others. Therefore, the discovery process may be difficult. Diligence and persistence may eventually compel a person to open up. Effective anger management therapy will use subtle and transparent techniques to get the person talking. "Beating the person over the head, (figuratively, of course) has no merit and will produce minimal results; if any at all. The key is to replace aggression with assertion. This is not an easy sell to an aggressive person. The person needs to discover that a situation dealt with effectively can produce a positive outcome. As a matter of fact, it could be win-win.
The main skill a person will need to learn in anger management therapy is communication. In the therapy, the idea of taking a person's thoughts into captivity and not acting out on them is fundamental. "For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds ;) Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalted itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; and having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled. (Two Corinthians 10:3-6). A person can learn to pause after a thought comes into their head, take a breather (count to 10), and make a decision about the best thing to do with that thought. Often people, who have self-control issues, are attempting to control the behavior of someone else. This never works, of course. In the short term, or for a limited period, a person will allow a person to be in charge. However, this gets old after a while because power breeds more power. Instead of measuring the use of this control with a thimble, the angry person begins to use tablespoons, then cups, then gallons, and on and on. Losing control can lead a person down a slippery slope that may end in the person losing their freedom.
Because of the escalating nature of both power and passion, victims in these situations must either leave or the person must diligently seek to recover their self-control through anger management therapy. What happens, more times than not, is that victims leave. New victims replace the past victims and the cycle continues until either an unfortunate, but preventable, tragedy ensues or the angry person realizes that they are on the losing side of the equation. Not only are victims, but the perpetrators are also victims. Most people do not take into consideration that there are physical ramifications of aggressive outbursts. Anger can cause high blood pressure, hypertension, and/or depression. The weird thing about that is that it does not depend upon whether or not the displeasure is expressed. Frankly, although expressed anger may be dangerous to victims, it is also dangerous to the perpetrator. Moreover, unexpressed vexation is even more directly dangerous to the perpetrator; making anger management therapy all the more critical for this person.
Some pathological expressions of indignation come out in ways other than outbursts. When a person is constantly putting others down, making cynical comments, and critical of everything and everybody, there is usually a root in anger. People with these behaviors rarely recognize them as anger. They choose to deal with people passive-aggressively. Unfortunately, forging meaningful relationships is not usually possible. Therefore, they are generally unhappy people with few, if any, friends. Moreover, even when they do successfully develop a relationship, it often degrades in a short period. Anger management therapy, in a group setting, can be very beneficial for anyone with these types of issues; however, for the person who is passive-aggressive, it is of particularly tremendous value. The idea is to engage in cognitive restructuring. What this means is altering the way a person thinks. People who are angry often speak in colorful language (cursing or using very dramatic and exaggerated words). These words resonate their inner thoughts. Replacing negative, derogatory, and pessimistic thoughts with more positive, appreciative, and favorable ones will begin to rewire a person's thinking.
With anger. Is there anger management therapy available for those who feel the need to take their treatment a step further?
In the early 1970's, a psychiatrist named Aaron T. Beck, M.D, developed an anger management therapy focusing on problem solving. This therapy initially called Cognitive Therapy is now also known as Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy or CBT. Beck worked with patients for years using his psychiatric knowledge but was burdened to see his patient's treatment making only slow progress. Beck wanted to use a more intense approach to anger management therapy.
Cognitive Therapy is a form of anger management therapy, which helps a person to correct or change specific details in their thinking. These details, involving negative feelings, will likely lead to anger and cause behavioral problems. Beck realized that it is during the thinking process, negative thoughts are formed which lead to changes in emotions and behavior. If an individual could be treated at this stage, helping them to change their way of thinking, then they would see changes in their emotions and behavioral pattern. Using strategies and techniques such as relaxation training and assertiveness training, CBT has proven to be a relatively fast method of providing an individual with relief and allowing them to experience freedom through endurance. Cognitive Therapy has proven to be the most effective type of psychological treatment. Its popularity has spread worldwide and is used by many qualified professionals to treat individuals with behavioral difficulties such as anger. Literature about CBT is widely available and there is training in CBT provided for professionals.
Many people who suffer with anger-related issues avoid therapy. Some think they do not need it and others see it as a sign of weakness. The opposite can actually be said of an individual who seeks anger management therapy. They are strong and determined, willing to take whatever measures necessary to make positive changes in their life. When a person gets to the point where they can admit they need anger management therapy, it is essential to find a therapist who makes them feel comfortable. It is important to be able to communicate easily with a therapist since this is the person who will help reshape the individual's life. Building a trusting relationship with their therapist is vital when an individual is committed to therapy, no matter how long it takes.
Being able to share emotions, whether good or bad, is important in anger management therapy. It is through sharing and trusting that a person begins to discover things about themselves. Once these discoveries are revealed, an individual will begin to work on making changes in their thoughts and emotions, which will lead to positive changes in their lives. Anger management therapy may seem tough initially but with a trusting therapist, an individual will certainly make progress. This relationship between the individual and their therapist provides a safety zone, a place where they can feel free to disclose their innermost thoughts and inhibitions. Exploring underlying feelings of these thoughts will eventually provide the tools necessary for success.
Anger management therapy, either CBT or meeting regularly with a therapist, is definitely beneficial for people striving to work through anger-related issues. Choosing anger management therapy is a big step and requires the support and encouragement from family and friends.
Anger Management Tips and Techniques
Those in search of anger management techniques can often benefit greatly from professional intervention as well as through attaining an understanding of this very potent emotion. In many families, angry feelings are discouraged and children grow up distrustful and ashamed each time they experience a hostile emotion. But anger can be a very positive and healthy emotion when channeled correctly and expressed in a balanced manner. When attempting to understand such a powerful feeling, it can be helpful to know that anger will usually be made up of several elements. These components may be cognitive, psychological, and physiological in nature.
The cognitive factor has to do with the specific thought processes that the individual is experiencing. At times, a basic understanding that feelings of irritation are both normal and justified can be very helpful. The psychological component will deal with just how the person feels. In addition to angry feelings, the individual may be feeling depressed, frustrated, or let down. Examining all of these feelings and the reasons behind them can be very effective anger management techniques. The physiological aspects will deal with the body's physical reaction to angry feelings. Does the heart rate increase? Does the blood pressure rise? Is there a release of adrenaline? Explaining such factors can make it plain to the patient just why the need to effectively channel powerful emotions is so important to the individual's overall health. The triggers for angry emotions are usually some kind of frustrating event. Additional circumstances such as a longstanding and underlying frustration can also be contributing factors. If someone seems to go through life feeling perpetually angry, this could be a sign of a serious problem that may benefit from the effective use of various anger management techniques. Since these problems will usually stem from some kind of learned behavior, new learned behaviors could supply the needed remedy.
Handling angry emotions may generally be accomplished in one of two ways, expression or suppression. Healthy expression will not involve outbursts and explosions, but will usually be characterized by calm discussion, impassioned pleas or assertive statements. Those who are more tempted to suppress anger may have a very difficult time with such issues as healthy assertion over inappropriate aggression or impassioned, but controlled pleas. Effective anger management techniques can help those on both sides of the spectrum. Anyone who is prone to angry outbursts can benefit from learning to express feelings without turning aggressive or abusive toward others. Those in the habit of suppressing feelings of anger can find much relief in learning to communicate long buried emotions in healthy and productive ways. In some cases, the help of a professional counselor may be needed. A counselor will usually explore the patient's family background and upbringing to gain a better understanding of the underlying causes of the problems that the individual presents.
Astute parents can help their children by teaching them effective anger management techniques during childhood. Anger is common among children. Caring parents can teach both by example and by supplying the child with useful tools for dealing with these powerful emotions. Some children may use anger as a way to gain attention or reassurance from parents. This can present many problems for concerned moms and dads. The need to discipline inappropriate behavior must be coupled with a reassurance that the child is loved unconditionally. While there should be consequences for angry outbursts, instruction on how to better express these feelings is necessary. By doing so, a parent can often head off many problems and better equip the child for life in the adult world. Of course, there can be a number of other reasons behind inappropriate bursts of rage. The child may be attempting to gain power or may be seeking some sort of revenge or aggression toward another person. Professional counseling along with the application of anger management techniques can be very helpful in dealing with and discovering the causes behind a child's extreme behavior issues.
For teenagers, there are a number of anger management techniques that may be effective. The teen years can be both difficult and confusing. A certain amount of angry feelings during the adolescent years is both normal and understandable. Learning to effectively handle these feelings is part of the normal maturation process. However, for some youths, anger can get out of control and become rage. When this is the case, professional counseling may be in order. A parent can help their child handle this rage by keeping the lines of communication open. If the teen feels that they have lost parental respect and approval after an outburst, this may only contribute to the problem. Looking into the sources of stress that the adolescent may be feeling can be helpful as well. If an underlying problem is identified, it may be easier to find a reliable solution.
For anyone who struggles to correctly channel angry emotions, there are a number of useful anger management techniques available. Something as simple as walking away from a situation shortly can be very effective. This can give all parties the opportunity to calm down and gain control. In some cases, this approach will not be applicable since there may not be time to walk away. When this is the case, it can still be important to pause, even if only for a moment, before making a response. Relaxing, taking the time to breath and think before responding can often be enough to prevent an over the top reaction. Retraining old habits can make a huge difference for anyone who struggles with these issues.
Can be difficult if the person is unwilling to admit to their problem and seek help. It is imperative that people be supportive and encouraging to those with anger issues. At times it may seem impossible since these people can be hurtful and even violent. Helping them to realize they need help would be the initial step to controlling their anger.
Once an individual is willing to work on their anger problem and turn to anger management, there are anger management techniques which will be taught to help them. There are many techniques which are beneficial regarding anger management. It might be necessary for the individual to try them all in order to find anger management techniques that work best for them.
One technique recommended for anger management is relaxation. Angry feelings and emotions can be calmed by relaxing exercises such as deep breathing, relaxing imagery and slow no strenuous exercise similar to yoga. When a person becomes irritated and headed for a fit of anger, it is suggested they breathe deeply. This technique recommends that the person breathe from their diaphragm in order to relax. Using relaxing imagery may work for some people. Allowing their mind and thoughts to go to a happy place, a relaxing experience may help to calm them down. This imagery may be of an experience or the individual could use their imagination. The yoga-like exercises used as an anger management technique are meant to relax the muscles, which in turn will help the individual feel much calmer.
Problem solving is used as an anger management technique. It is important for an individual to discover the reason for their anger. Anger is a natural response to certain situations and at times it is an acceptable reaction but there are other incidents when the anger is not appropriate. There is a reason for the anger and to every problem, there is said to be a solution. When a situation arises, the individual is taught not to focus on the solution but rather the problem. Finding ways to handle the problem and confront it is the main objective in this anger management technique. It may take awhile to conform to this plan. It is important to stick to it, eventually the answers will come.
People with anger issues are taught through anger management techniques to practice better communication skills. Often a fit of anger arises because an individual misunderstood a conversation. Before giving it any thought, they become enraged and filled with anger. Anger management teaches the individual to slow down their thinking, think before they speak or react. The easily angered person needs to listen to the underlying message and try not to jump to conclusions. When feeling on the defensive side, the individual should learn not to fight back. Listening rationally to what the other person has to say might make a huge difference in a reaction.
These are just a few anger management techniques. There are many others, which may be helpful to an individual requiring help. There are many books, movies and website on the Internet, which can provide information regarding anger management techniques.
Anger Management Tips to use in Stressful Situations
Stressful situations. If a difficult incident pops up, often their only way to cope with it is to put up their defensive side. Becoming angry is probably easier than dealing with the circumstances. This is unfortunate since anger does not solve anything. Once it subsides, the problem is still there.
There are anger management tips which people can used when found in stressful situations. If there is a friend or family member who is easy to talk to and understanding, it might be good to talk to them. When an individual becomes angry, they are incapable of seeing the other side of the problem. Talking to someone may help them by sharing their side of the story. The friend or family member may be able to help them sort through their issues and make them look at the situation from the other side. This anger management tip may work well for some people.
Another great anger management tip is to write down thoughts and feelings during a fit of anger. The angry individual may feel as if nobody understands or cares about their problems. Sharing may only cause extra conflict. Lashing out will get them nowhere. Writing or journaling may help people with anger issues. Without anyone to talk back or object to what they have to say, it may be help to get their feelings off their chest. Using writing as an anger management tip may also help in the future when trying to find the triggers, which cause the angry outbursts. Being able to look back over the information written may provide the person with reasons for their anger through reading about similar incidents.
Taking a vacation, spending some alone time is another good anger management tip. Removing oneself from the environment, which seems to frustrate and irritate them, may be a wise idea. Being able to get away and reflect on their actions may help an individual to look at things differently. Given space and time may be positive for a person with anger issues.
Some people suggest prayer and meditation as anger management tips. Both of these suggestions involve very personal practices for an individual. Given a chance to pray and be alone with one's thoughts is a good way to release tension and let the pressures of life wash away. Letting go of feelings of anger and negative thoughts would definitely make a positive change in a person's life. Through prayer and meditation, a person is able to dig deep into their minds and souls for answers to their problems and comfort for their broken spirits.
There are many anger management tips, which people can practice when the going gets tough. Tips such as breathe deeply, exercise, get more rest, get out in nature, find humor in the situation and play or listen to music. These are all recommended as anger management tips for the person who finds themselves in stressful and confrontational situations.
Anger Management Activities are recommended
Irritating and stressful situations may be a reason for many fits of anger and rage. Most people, with the exception of young children perhaps, recognize their problem with uncontrollable anger. Although there are many anger management activities, which would enable them to better cope with confrontational situations, some people are uneducated regarding these techniques and activities.
There are many anger management activities individuals can practice or participate in when attempting to cope with daily feelings of anger. One activity, which is recommended for anger management, is exercise. Exercise has been proven to have a positive impact on an individual's mood. Exercise helps an individual to decrease any negative feelings they might be experiencing. An effect anger management activity might be as simple as going for a walk or jog in the park. Visiting the gym to work out of taking part in their favorite sport may work well for an individual as an anger management activity. Taking a hike or spending a few hours in the beauty of nature would definitely allow a person to clear their head and release tension. Outdoor anger management activities would surely create an environment of serenity.
Anger management activities such as attending a support group, camp or retreat would certainly help people who are experiencing difficulties controlling their anger. One positive aspect of attending anger management activities such as there is the individual would see firsthand that their problem is not unique, that it is shared by plenty of other people. Being able to share with people in similar situations might be the key to anger management for some individuals. Sharing would likely provide hope through success stories. In anger management activities such as these, people are forced to deal with their anger issues through various activities group sessions and one on one consults.
Anger management activities are recommended when dealing with children who are coping with anger issues. A child is unlikely to respond well to group sessions and perhaps even become bored with one on one consults. Finding activities which are interesting and even challenging may be a better alternative. Kids enjoy fun and games. Designing anger management activities which are enjoyable yet beneficial would be so much more effective than forcing a child to sit down with an anger management counselor. Worksheets, coloring pages, individual games as well as interactive games would be accepted much better by children than a trip to the psychiatrist. When children are involved, it is essential to approach the problem carefully. Being overbearing will not go over well with kids. When considering anger management activities for kids, it is essential to be mindful that they are only children and the approach is important.
When considering anger management activities, an individual ought to choose one which they find interesting and enjoyable. Sticking a person in an unfamiliar setting may create feelings of anger which is not the intention of anger management activities. Finding an activity that works should be the key focus.
Anger Management for Teen Children
Where children experience some of their most challenging encounters. This particular period in a child's life can take them down many paths, some of them not so pleasant. Teen children who are forced to deal with upsetting circumstances often lash out. Developing a reckless attitude is common in many teen children. When teens turn to emotions of anger and begin to act out, it might be time to seek anger management for teen children.
As a teenager, trying to cope with the diverse situations which continuously present themselves can be emotionally strenuous. This strain unleashes many thoughts and feeling including anger. Anger is a natural response when somebody pushes a person's buttons. However, what the person chooses to do with those feelings makes the difference. Anger management for teen children teaches self-awareness and self-control. Anger is an extremely powerful emotion. If dealt with incorrectly, anger can cause actions or reactions, which are very hurtful and painful. Learning to deal with these emotions at a young age will definitely affect adult life. It is essential to seek anger management for teen children when there is evidence of anger issues.
Handling anger is all about empowerment, being capable of accessing the situation and making positive decisions rather than acting on impulse. It is easy to lash out at the first sign of opposition but it takes self-control to act in a sensible and logical manner. This may seem to be a lot to expect of teen children but if approached in the right way, it can be accomplished. This may require one-on-one counseling, support group meetings or attending a retreat for teens with anger problems. The method for success is important however, the result is what really matters.
Teaching a teenager, self-awareness as part of anger management for teen children, requires teaching the individual that they have the ability to evaluate situations, which make them angry. Encouraging the teen to take notice of their feelings during irritating incidents is essential in anger management for teen children. Helping them to understand the importance of thinking during an actual confrontational encounter will make a difference.
A teenager who is quick to anger also needs lessons in self-control. It is one thing to evaluate the upsetting situation but the self-control factors into the teenager's reaction. Teaching teen children to think before they act is imperative in anger management for teen children. Encouraging them to stop and think, take a few seconds between their initial feelings of anger and their reaction will certainly produce positive results.
Self-awareness and self-control go hand in hand when involved in a provoking situation. Anger management for teen children teaches the individual to evaluate their emotions, the situation and the actual reasons for the opposition. Taking a few seconds to mull these thoughts over in their mind will have an impact on their action or reaction. Dealing with teenagers who have anger problems can be a challenge but there are many resources available regarding anger management for teen children. The Internet is a great source or information regarding this subject. The process of teaching anger management strategies to teens may be a battle but the rewards are worth the effort. If the challenge means a teenager is prevented from harm and pain, it is definitely worth it.
Anger Management in Children
Issues may bring about images of a couple fighting, a parent abusing a child, a teenager lashing out at a teacher or a parent. Rarely will images of angry children come to mind. Unfortunately, children, at very young ages, have to deal with feelings of anger and rage. This is a truth, which is often difficult to understand or manage.
Children, young children especially, are not normally aware of how they feel. When a child becomes upset or mad they simply show these emotions through their behavior. A good example of this might be the little boy in the supermarket who throws a tantrum because he is upset. Many parents have had to deal with similar situations. It is unfortunate that often times these occurrences are overlooked or dismissed because they are "just children". Anger management in children is as important, or perhaps even more important than anger management in adults.
A child requires instruction and guidance from their coming into the world to their entry into adulthood. The things they learn throughout their young lives are likely to form the person they become as an adult. For this reason anger management in children with difficulties controlling their temper is extremely important. Finding ways to teach anger management in children might present challenges.
There are programs designed specifically for children with anger management issues. Finding one that works for a particular child might require testing many methods. Not all children will respond to the same treatments for anger management in children. Because a child cannot always relate their feelings surrounding angry outburst, finding the right approach may take some time. Until the issue is resolved or at least controlled, it is imperative to continue the search.
Young children may respond well to worksheets, games and fun activities. All of these can be used effectively to teach anger management in children. Developing programs which incorporate each of these might be the best route to take. A child completing a worksheet, coloring sheet or participating in games and activities with underlying messages regarding anger management, may not even realize they are working on their problem. Making the activity fun doesn't mean that the anger issue has to be left out. Choosing fun activities which teach healthy interaction and decision making might be good for anger management in children. Teaching them to take turns and helping them to learn that they cannot always be the best or the winner would definitely make a difference when confrontational situations arise. Little activities which instill values and positive thinking would be beneficial for anger management in children.
If a child is old enough to talk about their anger problem, encouraging them to share their feelings is important. Suggesting they talk to someone who they feel comfortable with and trust is a good idea regarding anger management in children. Asking them to write or draw about their emotions may be able to help disclose their underlying issues, whether fear, hurt or sadness. Teaching them to ask for help when they feel threatened or angry would certainly help the child with a problem. The important detail to realize when considering anger management in children are they are just "children". Their minds are not equipped to handle big people situations and so they will require a more careful approach.
How to Recognize the Physical and Emotional Signs of Anger
Anger is an emotional response to frustration, insult, or attack. Though not known to be universal cause, a very common stimulus to anger is the feeling of being either physically or psychologically restrained from doing what the person intensely desires to do. Other causes of anger include personal insult, everyday frustrations, such as being late to work because of a traffic accident, interruptions, being taken advantage of, or being compelled to do something against one's own wishes, such as having to do a project for your boss that has been done several times and never succeeded in the past.
Anger, aggression and hostility are difficult to deal with once a person has lost control. It is more easily to check anger before it flares up. Most people are unaware of the signals, which their bodies give them about the buildup of anger and frustration until it is too late.
One way to keep your anger in check is to be aware of what are the signs of anger.
What anger physically looks like?
1. The muscles of the brow move inward and downward.
2. The face has a frown and foreboding appearance.
3. The eyes are fixed in a hard stare toward the object of anger.
4. The nostrils dilate and the wings of the nose flare out.
5. Lips are drawn back and are open, revealing clenched teeth.
6. Often the face is flushed.
7. Voice level goes up several decibels.
What anger feels like?
1. The blood boils. The face becomes hot. Muscles are tense.
2. There is a feeling of power and the impulse to strike out, to attack the source of anger.
3. The stronger the anger, the stronger and more energetic the person feels. The greater the need for physical action.
4. In rage, the mobilization of energy is so great the an individual feels that he/she will explode if he/she does not bite, kick or hit something or "act out the anger" in some way.
5. Anger causes an individual to feel great tension. The sense of physical strength and self-assurance tends to make an individual feel brave and courageous.
6. The experience of anger is accompanied by a strong feeling of impulsiveness. The dimension of self-control is lower in anger than any other emotion.
7. The combination of muscle tension (strength), self-assurance and impulsiveness help explain the individual's readiness to strike out or engage in some kind of motor activity, like fighting.
What to do (When Feeling Angry):
1. DO NOT touch another individual or pick up any objects during periods of anger.
2. Remove yourself from the situation immediately.
3. Take several slow, deep breathes. Hold your breath for about five seconds and release your breath slowly and saying to yourself "relax."
4. Do something physical, which requires the expenditure of a lot of energy, such as jogging, playing squash, swimming, etc. Perform the activity until physically tired.
5. Then go back and examine the situation and identify the stressor(s) that set off the event. What was it about this particular situation that triggered your anger or was it a compilation of several incidents that built up until this was the "last straw".
6. Develop a plan of action on how you would handle the situation differently in future.
7. If a person is chronically angry or has problems with controlling his/her anger, he should seek out professional help immediately and sign up for an Anger Management Course.
I am a retired master's prepared nurse with a vast scope of experiences in the areas of mental and geriatric nursing. I have held clinical specialist positions in as well as administrative positions in which I developed programs for acute and long term clients on social skills, reality orientation, etc
Go to my website for further information on Managing Every Day Stress. These modules present a thumbnail sketch of a broad spectrum of topics, such as stress, anger, anxiety, communication styles and so forth and then present suggestions on how to cope more effectively with them.
Learning Healthy Anger Management Strategies
Each of them is intended to help people who are hot-tempered and frequently have fits of rage. Anger, although a healthy and normal response to upsetting situations, it can be intense to the point of violence. When a person experiences regular episodes of angry or reckless behavior, there is a problem, one that needs to be dealt with. Anger management strategies are designed to help an individual return to a healthy, normal existence.
Taking a time-out is considered a healthy management strategy. Removing oneself from a situation or person that makes a person angry is practicing time-out. This anger management strategy might simply require a ride in the car or a walk on the beach. Playing sports or working out will help an individual to use up some of the extra energy without involving others. Some other suggestions for time-out are reading, listening to music or sitting alone in silence. Each of these activities are healthy anger management strategies.
A second example of a healthy anger management strategy is, owning up to the anger. Although the anger is usually brought on by an irritating situation or a confrontation with another individual, the anger actually belongs to the troubled person. Only the person who's experiencing the anger issues can control their outbursts. Only the person with the anger issues can learn anger management strategies and how to deal with their feelings in a healthy way. When an individual becomes mad or upset they need to try to disclose the reasons for their anger whether it is hurt, fear, frustration sadness, confusion , jealousy or whatever seems to bring unleash the rage.
Another healthy anger management strategy is to look back on those situations that upset an individual and try to find ways to make changes. Learning the cause of the anger may help the individual to avoid those situations. Not only might the person learn to avoid these incidents but they might also choose to take what they have learned and attempt to deal with the situation without bursting into frenzy.
A fourth suggestion regarding healthy management strategies is to confront the situation or person. Talk to the person or people involved, calmly of course, to try to determine the root of the problem. The angry individual might actually discover that the whole thing was a mix-up, a misunderstanding. The individual might also try asking the person or people in the situation to think about their behavior and perhaps even change it. It may be surprising what people would be willing to do to help the person who is attempting to deal with their problems with anger. Hopefully everything will work out for the best. If not there has to be room for acceptance. Sometimes a person must simply accept the situations and people they cannot change and deal with it or walk away.
Learning healthy anger management strategies should be considered by those with anger problems. There are many books published regarding anger and anger management. There is also a wealth of information available on the Internet for those who are attempting to deal with their anger by learning healthy anger management strategies.
How to Express Your Anger and Still Be Kind
Many people carry around old emotional wounds that they express in a variety of ways such as depression or rage. Anger Work teaches us that In order to heal the wounds; the person needs to specifically focus on the anger within. By focusing on the trauma over and over, the pain will gradually go away, never to affect you again. Anger Work is the path to healing!
Three types of individuals would benefit from Anger Work:
1. Those who know they are angry.
2. Those who are struggling with past events and perhaps do not know they have repressed anger.
3. Those who wish to lead happier, more fulfilling lives.
This article will deal strictly with the people in the first category-Anger Work for people who know they are angry.
A comparison can be made between our physical health and our emotional health. When the body experiences a severe injury or laceration, infection will most certainly occur if the wound is left unattended. Eventually, it will fester and may even turn into gangrene, a life threatening condition. If, however, the wound is cleansed thoroughly and allowed to heal completely, all that is left is a scar to remind the victim of the event.
Likewise, when an emotional wound is sustained by the psyche, it will start to affect other areas of the person's life, just as infection spreads to other parts of the body. Since abusive people and emotional pain are part of everyday life, the person who does not learn to deal appropriately with them will start to experience a cumulative negative effect. Eventually the individual's overall emotional and psychological health will be at risk. However, if the emotional wound is cleansed well, and allowed to heal completely, all that is left is a memory. Like an old scar, this memory does not hurt. It becomes no more than a record of your personal memory, an experience that you have learned from. Anger Work is the cleansing process that can bring this healing about.
Since abusive people and emotional pain are part of everyday life, the person who does not learn to deal appropriately with them will start to experience a cumulative negative effect. Eventually the individual's overall emotional and psychological health will be at risk.
Okay, so you know you are angry. You have been mistreated or abused and you have had enough of that. You may be in touch with the feelings of your anger, but have not yet started expressing them, or you may be a seasoned veteran at "giving people a piece of your mind." You may even have a "temper problem" so serious that you experience episodes in which your anger seems to have control of you, rather than your being in control of your anger. People have been getting angry since the beginning of time, and that is nothing new. You may be thinking, "I don't need a book to tell me to get mad when somebody does something that ticks me off!" However, Anger Work is not simply "getting mad" at someone, nor does it deal exclusively with the present. People who describe themselves as having a "temper problem" are generally people who have had some very negative experiences in the past. Because they have not yet successfully worked through all their feelings about these events, they walk around with "leftovers," that is, leftover anger from situations that happened a long time ago. They bring these "leftovers" with them into every new situation. The result is that they are already somewhat angry before anything happens. So when someone does something that might normally be a minor source of irritation, the person with "leftovers" finds him or herself inordinately angry. They feel the anger of the current situation plus the "leftovers" they had in store. In situations that would normally make them feel genuinely angry, and for good reason, they go beyond that and become explosive. They may haul off and slug a person or berate him or her verbally instead of assertively asking someone to stop the offending behavior. You may be experiencing problems because of angry outbursts. Or maybe you haven't done anything regrettable yet, but you feel like a volcano about to explode and burn everything in your path. If either of these descriptions fits you, you can learn how to channel your anger and aggressive feelings in positive ways. Over time, through Anger Work, you can work out all your residual feelings of anger so that you have no "leftovers." You will break out of the negative cycle of Anger’ Outburst’ Guilt’ Regret’ Shame’ Anger, without becoming a doormat.
Dr. Robert Puff is a psychologist and business consultant who has given almost a thousand media interviews, including magazines, online magazines, and TV and radio talk shows. All of Dr. Puff's writings are free, as e-books and unabridged audio recordings at his web site. If you would like to read or listen to his free numerous selections of how to handle fear, manage anger, reduce stress, go to
Healthy Ways to Unleash Your Anger
If we heard the word "anger”, the first thing that comes to our mind is negative feeling, a negative emotion that often resulted to vicious actions. We are like a dragon that ready to throw fire. However, there are many ways that anger can turn into positive outcome and productive results.
Here are some convincing reasons to give up anger:
1. Anger is a destructive emotion. Anger, in fact, is a healthy emotion but it can be destructive if you do not know how to handle it.
2. You are the first person damaged by your anger. Holding out to your anger is like grasping a very hot coal and ready to throw to the subject of your anger, you are the one who is burned.
3. Your actions done because of anger are likely to be irrational and hence harmful and not effective."Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret."
4. If you are carrying anger then you are setting up barriers for yourself. When you get angry, you interfere with your creative and objective side to help you achieve your goals and purpose and as a result, you do not move forward.
5. Anger can ruin you physically and emotionally. Do not stay too long with your frustrations and disappointments because it can lead us to many physical problems such as hypersensitivity, irritability, and insomnia. Your emotional and social life can be affected too.
Feeling angry is not wrong after all, but when it leads a person to become destructive, either physically, verbally, or psychologically, then it becomes wrong. Anger can be useful in many ways. Here are some practical tips for turning your angry feelings into useful energy.
You must acknowledge your anger
Denying its existence is one of the unhealthiest responses to feelings of anger. If you do not allow your mind to acknowledge that angry feelings, your body will have to bear the burden. If you feel the blood rising to your head, your ears are getting that hot sensation, your stomach being tied in knots, your fists clenching, and your heart pounding, then admit to yourself that anger is hitting you.
Uncover the cause of your anger
What triggered your feeling is sometimes obvious: a trusted person lied at you, the toilet bowl was not flushed, or the result you expected never happened. Sometimes you need to dig deeply. Just be specific in naming the event that sent your blood boil.
Confide in someone you trust
Find somebody you can confide your feeling, someone that is objective about the situation and who are not afraid to be honest with you. However, beware of somebody who just riles you up further and can fan your flames.
Take action to solve the issue that is frustrating you
First, determine if you have any control over the situation. If you do not have any control, just letting go of the situation, and working on how you feel about it.
Do something to make your anger productive
If you have a yard, go outside and do yard work, gardening or do a hobby that you are passionate about like painting, drawing, or simply redesigning your room. You will feel great about the progress that you make.
Get physical
Get connected to your body, and channel your rage into an activity that can release tension. Exercise, dancing, and running are great examples.
Life is so short; do not waste it being angry most of the time. Stay happy and make your anger productive. As the saying goes, "For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness."
Learning to Control Your Anger
There are many ways to learning to control your anger, but it is important that you also understand where your anger comes from.
As a child, you are taught to control your emotions to a certain extent. Excitement as a young adolescent does not necessarily mean screaming and yelling anymore, anger does not mean hitting, and sadness does not mean screaming and crying at the same time. You have been taught to control these emotions to a certain extent.
Unfortunately, for some, learning to control anger is a bit different and a bit more difficult. The same way you do not cry in public, throw yourself down on the sidewalk and beat your fist against it, are the same rules that should apply to your anger issues. In other words, if you have learned to control your other emotions you can learn to control your anger.
The hardest part about anger is its one of the strongest emotions a human being can have. There are many instances where ancient man used anger to fight, to survive, and to hunt. This is why it is one of the strongest emotions and it is so hard to control.
While it is understandable that anger is hard to contain, it is not understandable if it turns to violence, or hurtful words. More pain is dished out in relationships due to anger than any other emotion.
There are many articles on the Internet, many behavioral therapists, and community classes for anger management. If you are having trouble with your anger, if it is ruining your life, seek out help.
Anger is one of the strongest emotions known to man, and while it was useful in ancient times, in today's society it can be extremely detrimental. Seek out help if your anger is ruining your life, after all, you are not alone.
How Can I Control My Anger?
If you blow up at the tiniest thing, you are probably wondering, how can I control my anger? You may think that you have picked up this trait from a family member and it is in your genes. Well, it may be a familiar family trait, but your reactions are learned and you can change them if you really want to.
Everyone has his or her hot spots and people who know how to "push your buttons." While these issues have specific origins, they can be dealt with as soon as you figure out why you are getting so angry. Sometimes we get angry because whatever is being said is hitting too close to home and we do not want to admit it.
Think about what it is that is triggering this emotion. Start writing a journal, which can be very therapeutic in uncovering reasons behind our emotions. Are you jealous of someone? Do you think they are getting away with something they should not? Write your heart out and once it is on paper, somehow you will feel relieved because it is not churning around inside of you.
If we get angry with a person directly or a situation that is at hand, one thing you might want to try is to physically remove yourself from the situation. Go outside, take a deep breath, and walk around the block. Just get away so that you can regroup and calm down.
Next time you see someone who explodes with anger, pay attention to what that person looks like, sounds like, and the reaction of the people around him or her. Sometimes when we see, what our behavior may look like it is a real eye opener.
You may feel like you are the one in control when you get angry but you are actually far from it. You have a better chance of resolving the problem or getting what you want with a calm attitude.
How to Get Rid of Anger?
There is no doubt that there are many angry people in the world today, economic turmoil has changed some people's life irrevocably, and in many cases, they have a right to be angry. In order to be healthy you need to learn how to get rid of anger and get on with your life.
The first thing you need to do is accept that you have a right to be angry considering the situation you're in. Whether it is economic turmoil, financial disaster, a breakup with a relationship, or another type of life-changing event.
Once you accept the fact that you have a right to be angry you can begin to dissipate the negative energy. First, make sure that you are angry at the right events in your life. If you cannot describe what you are angry about, or why you are angry, a little bit of self-diagnoses is going to be needed. In other words, before you can get rid of anger you have to know what you are mad at and why.
Once you understand what you are mad at or why, you can begin to focus this angry energy in a good way. Accepting that you are angry, that you have a right to be angry, and then doing something about the problem or the situation would be your next step.
If you can focus this angry energy in a good way, not only will your anger dissipate, but you will also be accomplishing something with the energy. Wasting your energy by ranting around or complaining a lot is not going to help anyone, least of all you. It is much better to focus this energy and do something about your situation.
Remember, the first step to getting rid of anger is to understand why you are angry in the first place.
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"It’s hard to fight with ANGER, but the prudent man keeps it under control."
"ANGER at lies lasts forever. ANGER at truth can't last."
"ANGER will never disappear so long as thoughts of resentment are cherished in the mind.
ANGER will disappear just as soon as thoughts of resentment are forgotten."
"How much more grievous are the consequences of ANGER than the causes of it
"The best remedy for ANGER is delay."
"Resentment is ANGER directed at others--at what they did or did not do."
»Brigham Young
»Peter McWilliams
"Guilt is ANGER directed at ourselves--at what we did or did not do." »Peter McWilliams
"When ANGER rises, think of the consequences." »Confucius
"The greatest remedy for ANGER is delay." »Lucius Annaeus Seneca
"ANGER dwells only in the bosom of fools." »Albert Einstein
"ANGER is never without a reason but seldom a good one." »Benjamin Franklin
"Whatever is begun in ANGER ends in shame." »Benjamin Franklin
"ANGER is only one letter short of dANGER." »Roosevelt, Eleanor
"ANGER is a signal, and one worth listening to." »Harriet Lerner
"In ANGER we should refrain both from speech and action." »Pythagoras
"A man is measured by the size of things that ANGER him." »Geof Greenleaf
"Look not back in ANGER, nor forward in fear But around you in awareness." »Ross Hersey
"ANGER is a wind which blows out the lamp of the mind." »Robert Green Ingersoll
"ANGER so clouds the mind, that it cannot perceive the truth." »Cato the Elder
"There was never an angry man that thought his ANGER unjust." »Saint Francis de Sales
"ANGER and intolerance are the enemies of correct understanding." »Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi
"Let us not look back in ANGER, nor forward in fear, but around in awareness." »James Grover Thurber
"He who can suppress a moment's ANGER may prevent a day of sorrow." »Tryon Edwards
"ANGER makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were." »Cherie Carter-Scott
"I have a right to my ANGER, and I don't want anybody telling me I shouldn't be, that it's not nice to be, and that something's wrong with me because I get angry." »Maxine Waters
"Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for they are subtle and quick to ANGER." »J. R. R. Tolkien
"ANGER makes dull men witty, but it keeps them poor." »Francis Bacon
"ANGER and jealousy can no more bear to lose sight of their objects than love."
"If you do not wish to be prone to ANGER, do not feed the habit give it nothing which may tend to its increase."
"If you are patient in one moment of ANGER, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow."
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